I pray for the sermons before and during writing them as well as prior to preaching. I have an issue with trust though. I believe. I have faith. But my faith seems to work better when I’m in control of everything. There are Sundays that I feel pretty good about the message I am about to give. I absolutely love preaching, and some Sundays are better than others as far as feeling like I did it the way I wanted to. However, there are some Sundays that I am really not so sure about how the message will go. Sometimes they feel dry. Sometimes I’m just not confident in them. Last Sunday was one of those Sundays when I just wasn’t sure how it would go.
I know that sometimes folks will say that the sermons they preach when it hits them on Sunday morning are the best, or that it’s the ones that they think are bad that others think are their best. That sort of sentiment just doesn’t connect with my personal experience (even if it does connect with others). There is a part of it that strikes me as too cliche. My responsibility is to be as prepared as I can, to have been as attentive to the Holy Spirit as I can through the week, and to study as best I can through the week, so that I can bring the offering of my labor in the form of a message on Sunday. As I present my best, or my first fruits, so to speak, upon the altar of the worship service, I believe the Holy Spirit does the work in people’s ears and hearts. Could the Holy Spirit work despite my poor performance? I sure hope so. There is a lot of Andy to overcome each week even when I bring my best. With that being said, I pray for and hope for the work of the Holy Spirit all week while I work on the message.
So, it’s hard when I am not confident going into Sunday’s worship. Last Sunday was one of those days. I thought the message went decent. The cool thing though was that 1 person said I addressed something he was wrestling with that week in a major way. 2 other people told me how they used the challenge in the sermon notes of what they were to die to in their flesh. One of those people I prayed with right after the worship time. They all named specific things that they took from the message, which was encouraging as a pastor because it wasn’t a general, “gosh, I was impressed with your charm and wit!” Instead, they were talking about how the scripture challenged them. I prayed with someone for strength to give up some things that God laid on their heart. Amazing. And clearly it wasn’t about me. That’s pretty cool. I did bring my best, even though I thought it wasn’t great. But God honored that and the Holy Spirit worked and my faith was helped. You see, I do slip into believing that I need to do it on my own. I’m a work in progress. This period of fasting has made that very plain to me. But I’m also in the hands of a faithful God who does more than I expect. I’m learning to trust. And that’s a good thing.